The Cree River, Saskatchewan, Geisha Brigade July 5-18 2009


            Norm “Capt. Hook” Baker, Thor Heyerdahl’s first mate on the reed boat trips Ra, Ra-II and Tigris and one of the world’s greatest living adventurers and explorers, flew up from Massachusetts in his Skyhawk for a second year looking forward to being wet, cold, exhausted, bug bitten and miserable. A dogged, if novice freshwater fisherman, Capt. Hook earned his river name from the innumerable times he hooked Saskatchewan.  Kam “Splash” Kahnamoui, our Iranian terrorist surgeon, was also a returnee (with his father-in-law Syl “Ziggie” Hawryluk, both from Ontario).  Splash, who set a fine record of five dumps in Paull River rapids last year, got off to a promising start by falling off the Turbo Otter’s pontoon at the put in. Ziggie’s paddling has improved, or else he’s not interested in taking the scenic route as much this year.  “Sub-Count” Ingo Schoppel “of Transylvania” and Ontario was also back. Filling out our trio of geishas was also Ontario’s Natsuko “Summer” Mayers. The remainder of our 12-person brigade  was from Saskatoon, though 13-year-old  JP “Tee Pee” Anthony is in the process of moving here from Vancouver.
For medical corp we had, besides Splash,  nurse Su “The Dragon Lady” Hattori taking care of everyone except Garth “Chicken Legs” Ramsay who, being a (foul) fowl, was administered to by veterinarian professor James “Tipper” Anthony.

The Cree is a fabulous river—about 107 miles/170k of non-stop, perfectly clear fast water and rapids, NO portages (!), with good fishing and great campsites. We also enjoyed very high water conditions—low water a bane to canoeists in dry years as this is normally a shallow river with miles of bony rapids and a sandstone bottom that can grate a canoe like cheese.  The Class 1s listed in Laurel’s book (Northern Saskatchewan Canoe Trips, Archer) were often punched up to 2s, which was great.   And there must have been a hundred of them.

Because the Cree requires an expensive fly in and out ($9737.76 for our Twin Otters, but split 12 ways, $811.48 each) it doesn’t see much action—though we coincidentally shared the river with a group of nine from Minnesota led by Jerry Richards, and at our take out campsite, an all women’s group from Saskatoon joined us. Meeting other canoeists is always great.

            Not so great was the iffy weather. That damned easterly (anything from the east in this country brings bad news weather) and northerly that plagued us on the William River in June continued, as did the cool temps. One morning we woke to 2C/35F and most mornings it was in the 44-46F range. What the hell happened to Global Warming when you want it? Still, we had several good days.

Most importantly, an  absolutely great time was had by all.


Pre-paddle fete in our backyard. Those from Vancouver and Ontario expressed surprise that firepits were still allowed here.


Cree Lake, at latitude 58,  which supplies Cree River. It was a 90 mile fly-in and 72 out.  Enormous, gorgeous, with hundreds of islands  and remote…uranium exploration threatens to destroy its solitude.  Sooner than later a road will be punched through.  I paddled across it 4-5 years ago and fell in love with it.  It’s virtually untouched—a treasure. And HUGE fish!


"Look Daddy!  A cardboard box!" In the back of the Turbo Otter.


The Cree's Mouth. We landed at a  nearby beach and spent our first gorgeous day enjoying the lake and decompressing from the evils of civilization.


The geishas handled the traditional voyageur custom of popping iced champagne. L-R: Summer, Good Yoko (you can guess who the bad one is) and The Dragon Lady. This was followed by equally traditional grilled beef tenderloins, wine, Saskatoon berry pie, then single malts and Cohiba cigars.  Other days we had moose stew, wild rice, pancakes with maple syrup, back “Canadian” bacon—lots of Canuckisms.  We canoe in class.  For instance, geishas don’t come cheap. You know Japanese prices.


The 4k of Hawk Rapids, the wildest on the whole river, were shot the first day.  That's Sub-Count Ingo with Capt. Hook in the stern. We had our only dump of the trip there requiring a difficult mid-river canoe rescue.  Naturally it was Splash and Ziggie.  In the end Splash only ended up in the drink four times, an honorable if disappointing attempt at his record.  Hawk Rapids had a different name a century ago….


"To a Narrows between walls of sandstone 10 feet in height, while in the middle a little island of similar sandstone presents its vertical sides to the rapid raging around it.  This island is called Epervier Island, and the long rapid said to be the worst on a very bad river Epervier Rapid,” so wrote Joseph Tyrrell on his 1892 expedition.  Tyrrell “broke” his birchbark canoe here and three other times on the river—one he was distinctly not fond of, but then the dummy didn’t choose Royalex or Kevlar like we did. His estimates of  the river’s  average velocity at 6mph and up to 12 in rapids was about double, though my GPS  did record a 10.4mph run in one rapid.


LOTS of fast water!  It’s just one long and fabulous carnival ride.


After a northerly windvaned us sideways (!) while still in sloshing rapids as we flooded out into an open lake—creating very tippy conditions—we were windbound for a day.  Dumping we did not want to do: the ice went off Cree Lake only 2-3 weeks earlier.  A daily bath is a must for me and after managing to soap up, I dunked for a rinse—and the water was so shocking cold I involuntarily sucked in a breath,  which left me sputtering. Fortunately we had Sub-Count Ingo’s shelter and used our orange tarps as an added windbreak. Note how billowed they are.  Fortunately there were lots of orange top mushrooms around and we had a great feed, and hardly anyone died, though Chicken Legs reported the trees waving like curtains.


That’s Tipper  (guess how he got his river name two years ago on the Churchill?) fly fishing for grayling in the Rapid River which dumps into the Cree. The brigade voted for a record four days off to simply enjoy Nature. Launching daily at the Crack of Ten is our motto.  We canoe as lazily as possible.


I said Capt. Hook was a dogged fisherman?  Here's a jack that went into the chowder pot.


Jerry Richard (stern) and part of his Minnesota brigade. Great bunch of people.  They seemed to nail a lot of pickerel/walleye while we slammed the jack.


Our tarps got a good bit of use, both to block the wind and rain.


Here our geishas, when not catering to our every whim, amuse themselves by make origami.


The reaction to Sub-Count Ingo telling the story of a certain Fred, while on a Barrens Land river, creating an elaborate outdoor biffy over a convenient animal burrow for his traditional morning constitutional, and while enjoying his construction a weasel shooting out of the hole  and biting him on the nuts. (Might be a bit of elaboration here, it coulda been a squirrel.)  Capt. Hook met this with his recollection of while crossing the Atlantic on Ra-II  in ’70 when a 12-foot hammerhead shark rocketed out of the water and almost took a chunk out of his butt.




Brigade leader  Jason “Capt. Magnus Twat” Schoonover.  The nature of the river changes—it’s much wider with less rapids (though still lots of fast water) in the second half.




Wapata Lake. We spent our last day on the beach. Wapata is connected to Black Lake, which is connected to Lake Athabaska which flows into the Arctic.  Note the nesting canoes on the left, necessary to attach to the Turbo Otter’s struts.


The Cree shortly before dumping into Wapata Lake and the put out.  It’s sandy, jackpine and birch country, no Canadian Shield, and lots of reindeer moss. We saw several moose and one bear.   I counted four uranium mines as we flew near Points North waterbase.  Saskatchewan has the world’s highest quality and supplies the world with 30% of its current needs. With that and the tar sands, the province is an emerging international energy powerhouse. About time.  It’s the only province and/or state in North America recording positive growth.


The last evening at the Wapata Lake put out, while sharing a campfire with  the Saskatoon women’s brigade, one asked, “Where’s the boys?”  Well, 13-year-old Tee Pee had gone to bed but the other “boy” was 39-year-old “Boy Professor” Aaron Phoenix. Like a good boy, he was in bed early too.

 

"Da plane! Da plane!"


But it wasn't over. Tipper generously hosted a post-paddle fete the day after our 12 hour drive down.  It was beef tenderloins and single malts again, of course. Incidentally, that’s the Boy Professor (Engineering) on the right.


Here he is sucking his thumb, uh, finger.


The brigade. Standing L-R: “Capt.  Hook” Norm Baker, “Sub-Count” Ingo Schoppel “of Translyvania”, Natsuko “Summer” Mayers, “Boy Professor” Aaron Phoenix, Kam “Splash” Kahnamoui, James “Tipper” Anthony.  Sitting L-R: Su “The Dragon Lady” Hattori, Syl “Ziggie” Hawryluk, Garth “Chicken Legs” Ramsay, Kumiko “Good Yoko” Yokoyama, Jason “Capt. Magnus Twat” Schoonover, “Tee Pee” JP Anthony, James’ cabin boy and servant.



Four are  members of The Explorers Club, L-R: Sub-Count Ingo, Capt. Hook, Splash and Capt. Twat.  Northern Saskatchewan Canoe Trips author Laurel Archer is also a member.

Next year:  back to the Churchill!

Cheers – Jason “Capt. Magnus Twat” Schoonover
Ol’ Thunder Outfitting’s Voyageur Guest List (259) emailed in three parts:


 

Geoff Alexander, Jan Anderson, Loral Anderson, Colin Angus, Ken Anklovitch, James “Tipper” Anthony,  John Paul “Tee Pee” Anthony,  Juhachi Asai, “First Mate” Capt. Norman “Capt. Hook” Baker FN’70*, Lis & Andres Baldo, Mike Barry,  Roger Beaumont, Texas Dan Bennett MN’02, Guy “Zorro” Bennett, Chad “Lobster Boy” Berscheid, Ragnar Bertelsen,  Honorary Admiral Don and Shirley Bigelow, “Muskeg (Jr.) Kai” Bjorck, “Muskeg (Sr.) Lars” Bjorck, Barry Black, Walt “Lilly Dipper” Blahey, Wharran Blahey,   Laura Bombier, Franco Bordignon, Jim Bracken, Claes Bratt, Michael “Charlie” Brown MN’03, Sarah Bruce, Eugene Buchanan, John & Jane Campbell, Rod Carr, Don “Eggie” Chaput, Valerie Chirkov,  Kevin Chisnall,  Al Chubak, Neal Christensen, Patty Christensen, Kraisak Schoonhavan, Gord Kathy Clayton,  Mark & Lilah Cram,  Cat Crosbie,  Paul Czaros, Tony Dalton FI’85, “Snorkel Master” Lynn Danaher MN’05, Jim FI’97 and Ann Delgado, Dave and Genevieve Denny, Chris & Sally Dickinson,  Mario Dima, George Dobbie MI’05 and Mairi Anderson, Niki Drapak,  Carman and Marilyn “Pisstank” Drury, Kirsty Duncan FI’05, Bill & Kim East, Albert Ellis,  Bonnie Endicott, John “Ling Ling” Ellis, Mick Elmore,  Ruth Epstein,   Devon Fairbairn,  Kim Twatt Foden,  “Capt. Incredible” Joel MN’73 and Coty   Fogel MN’73, Eric “Deep Throat” Forbes, John “Bill” and Stephanie “Cheesecake Mary” Foster,  Paul Fourneir, Rick Fredericksen, Emilio and Marian Freeman,  “Glorious Leader” Joe Frey FI’02, Yvonne Friesen, Rosalund Fussell,  Fred  “Capt. Franklin” Gaskin, John Geiger FI’03,  Larry “Don’t call me Bwana” Gelmon, Jaret “Young Griz” and Twyla Gentner, Brian “Ol’ Griz”  Gentner, Rhonda Gerbert, Brian Gibbs, Geoffrey Goddard, Donna Goodridge, Capt. Rio Hahn FN’86, “Agent Mike” Hamilburg, Keith “Heron Legs” Hamilton,  Lorri Hansen, Brian Hanson MED’84, Michael Harington, Greg hardy, Dwayne Harty MI’03, Joe & Jacquie Harty,  Doug Harrison, Mike Hosaluk, Gene Hattori, Su “the Dragon Lady” Hattori, Sylvester Hawryluk, Bob Hellman, Bill Henderson, Hal Herbison,  Bill Hominuke, David Hopkins, Sandra Hunt-Chomyn,  Brian “Slash” and Patcheri “Hot Lips” Hunter,  Carol Anne Inglis-McQuay, Kit John, Don Johnson, Sarah Jones,  Kamyar “Splash”  Kahnamoui,  Koosh “Splish” Kahnamoui,  Ken Kamler FR’84,  Maryann “Agent M”  Karinch, Kasha, Sylvan Katz and Jennifer Osachoff, Heather Kelly,  Pat and Rosemarie Keough FI’02, “Dancin’ Deb” Kita, Robert Kollen,  Chris Kostman, Mark LaFontaine,  Richard “Elephant Man” Lair, Lee-Ann (Skibinski) Lau,  Malcolm “Cherry Popper SAS” Lawson, Stephen LaPointe,  Mike Lewis, Tim Leacock, Anna Leighton,  Stratton “Tutti Frutti”  Leopold MN’88, Tamara “Two Feathers” Levine FI’04, Alastair “the Limey” Linn, Phil Long, May Loo, Babs McLaren, Colleen MacPherson, Les “Evil Twin”  McPherson,  David Maier, Jerzy “Yurek”  Majcherczyk FR’92, Joanne Marcoux, Gary Marvin, Colin Maskey, Natsuko “Summer” Mayers,  Bill Maynard,  Richard Meyer, Maura Moynihan, Ken McGoogan, Rick Miller, Carolee Milroy,  Heidi “Piano Mouth”  Mittler, Maya Moore,  Diane “The Munnsters” Munns, Shawn “Two Names”  Munns, Seamus Munns, Garth Murphy, Fumiyo Noguchi, Shintaro Noguchi,  Cathy O’Dowd, Rick Olmstead,  Robert and Joan Palmer, Rui Parada, Bic Parker,  Bev Pavelich, Gord “Viking” Pennycook,  Neal “Sits-in-a-canoe” Pennycook,  Ray Pennycook, Tony and Audrey “OD” Pennycook, Wayne Pennycook, Dave Penman,  Garrett Phenix, Trev Phenix, Aaron “Boy Professor” Phoenix, Steve and Mary Pineo, Collin Piprell,  Milbry Polk MR’95, John Pollack FI’06, Aeneas “Farm Boy and good twin” Precht,  Jack “Best” Purchase FI’81, Garth “Chicken Legs” Ramsay, Tom Reimchen FI’04, Patrick Rekart, Keith Richburg, Chuck Ringness, Marcel Robischon, Guilhem Rondot, Mem Rondot, Piyawee Ruenjinda, Nat Rutter FI’78, David Sawatzki, Stan Schneider,  Al Schoonover, Karen Schoonover, Jason Schoonover, Araceli Segarra, Shirley “Evil” Semaka, Frank “Knieval” Semaka, BJ and Greg Severson, Sandy Shantz, Bob Shields, Iris Shimada, “Sub-Count” Ingo Schoppel MI’87 “of Translyvania”, “Ranger” Jim Simone, “Queen” Bill Sitter, Ted Skibinski,  Ed Sobey FN’81, Judit Smits, Marlyn & Murray Soparlo,  “St. Julian” Spindler, Kris Spindler, Kevin Stanway, Marianne Stenbaek FI’92, Granis Stewart, Lawrie Stewart,  Robert Stewart,  Samuel Stime, Martin “Ostrich Legs” Stockwell, Mikael Strandberg FI’03,  Les Stroud MI’05, Peter Sullivan, Marasee “Bossy Bitch” Swan, Dale Symons, Judy Thair, Colleen “Scoop” Thuen, Patricia Thomson MN’04,  Matt Tremaine,  “Birdman” Rob Tymstra FI’94, Sharon Mark Tysseling,  Steve Van Beek FI’88, Bert Vandenberg, Erich Volkstarf,   Steve Voth, Maria Ware, “Bonfire Brenda” Weenk, Phil Whitfield, Pete Williams, Candace “Bow Buba” Wilson MI’96,  Jim Wilson, Sandi  “Capt. Hook” Woods, Mary Yanchus, Kumiko “Good Yoko” Yokoyama (Lennon got the bad one. . . ) and “Shanghai” Jane Zhang doing sweep.

 

                                Captain Magnus Twat^ FI’86

 

* FN’70 is an Explorers Club member designation denoting, in this case with Thor Heyerdahl’s major collaborator on the reed boats Ra, Ra-II and Tigris, “Fellow National (elected in)  1970” and who was with us on the 2008 Churchill River brigade, jokingly titled the Ra-III Reed Canoe trip.

 

^Magnus Twat was born about 1751 and joined the Hudson Bay Company in 1771 as a “labourer” and was subsequently a “carpenter and canoe builder” before advancing to “factor." From journal entries, he was highly respected for his multiple skills and work ethic. From 1791 to 1795 he was almost continuously in charge at Cumberland House, the first settlement in what became Saskatchewan, and only seventy air miles from the small town of Carrot River where I was brought up. In 1798 he was in charge at Carlton House on the  Saskatchewan River, and later  established a house at Setting river.   From 1799 to 1801 he was back at Cumberland House.  It was while canoeing up the Carrot River that he suffered what appears to have been a stoke and died, on October 23, 1801, and was buried on site. He left his mother not only an annuity of £10, but a trust to build and maintain a school, along with money for the poor, in his home parish of Orphir, Orkney. To honor this outstanding but unheralded member of the Canadian fur trade with whom I share the Carrot River, I have adopted his name as my river name. He left at least two sons.  His descendents for some reason changed his name. His distant cousin, Kim Twatt of the Orkneys, paid an emotional visit in 2001  to her equally distant Cree relatives at the Sturgeon Lake Reservation which she recounted in her booklet, Full Circle: http://www.orcadian.co.uk/acatalog/Orcadian_Bookshop_Full_Circle_327.html